@THINGDUMBPPLSAY: That's because you're in it...
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@Jennuflect: *wakes up w/phone in hand* Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night *text chime* Couch: I'm like right here why are you texting me?
@sgrstk: This Xmas, remember there are people less fortunate than you. People who can't sleep diagonal, people sharing a bed, people who are married.
@JasonLastname: I hate when you forget to wear a belt and have to shoot heroin using the blood pressure machine at walgreens.