@THINGDUMBPPLSAY: That's because you're in it...
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@Mr_Kapowski: Spice up your otherwise trite wedding by making the groomsmen act as pallbearers and carry the groom to the altar in a casket
@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope." "You mean Collider?" "Oh shit!"
@GinAndJif: "Dave's coming for dinner tonight." "Dave from work or Dave who misquotes Disney...?" [from outside] "...hakuna banana."
@Token_Geezer: The fact that twitter is at it's busiest during working hours probably tells you all you need to know about the worlds economic problems