@theblowout: that's disgusting (unless you're up for it?)
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@lisaxy424: I would most likely die like 45 minutes into a zombie apocalypse, and even more likely it would not be zombie apocalypse related.
@YesImMatt: When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?
@internetluke: [Jaden Smith at aquarium] "...any questions?" Do Crabs Think Fish Can Fly? "No" What If Our Air Is Just Bird Water? "Huh" How Can Birds Be R
@AntiSemanticShw: I think the hardest part about being a cashier is telling the girl buying 3 pregnancy tests to "Have a nice day"