@theblowout: that's disgusting (unless you're up for it?)
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@GrantTanaka: coworker: [talking about having children] me: aww man I can't have children coworker: why me: because I hate them
@doublewenis: Hey...quick question, fellas: Does it still count as leg day if you just shaved them?
@daemonic3: ME: [sees old friend with new wife] Hey congrats on the wedding! Where did you marry? HIM: Maui ME: Oh, sowwy! Where did you mawwy her?