@ValeeGrrl: That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix.
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@myles_morrison: Kids having the best time ever sound exactly the same as kids being axe-murdered.
@Douchekevin: Never mind trying to scare me about going to hell religious people, it won't work. I was married for 6 years.
@briangaar: Happy 30th birthday Super Mario Bros. To celebrate, I'm going to eat mushrooms, punch a brick wall & set a turtle on fire.
@Book_Krazy: A cubical is a great place to reflect on all the bad decisions you've made in your life