@ValeeGrrl: That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix.
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@VodkaShorebird: "You know what people really want to see? Season after season of a guy drinking his own piss." - Discovery Channel executive
@KalvinMacleod: ME: I'm just gonna take a quick nap. KIDS: Check out the new cirque du soleil show we invented. *living room is on fire*
@BrentTerhune: Just made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.