@goatburgler: That’s just what I’d expect a pie full of spiders to say.
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@rickolantern: Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year? Most weddings happen in June.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Movie tickets for 4: $56 Popcorn: $16 Hot dogs: $20 Sodas: $14 Candy: $15 Parking: $5 Seeing the smiles on your family's faces: $126
@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.
@hythemafia: Sperm 1: "Geez I'm exhausted, how much further to the Fallopian tubes?" Sperm 2: "A long way, we've just passed the tonsils..."