@Cool_Jesse: That's the last time I follow some dude into the woods just because he tells me he's a wizard.
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@trojansauce: [day after trying sushi for the first time] ME: *putting frozen chicken nuggets on table* WIFE: this isn't cooke- ME: it's sushi, susan
@ObscureGent: When I die, I'm going out guns blazing with all hell coming with me. *Dies eating gas station sushi
@HuttonGray: Why don't they allow computers in prison? Is it because of the escape button? I think it's because of the escape button.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If Thor is a woman, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?