@Cool_Jesse: That's the last time I follow some dude into the woods just because he tells me he's a wizard.
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@stephenjmolloy: Mugger: "Hand over your stuff! No funny business!" *I give him my wallet and phone but not my business proposal to open a clown college*
@ComedicBust: [History Channel] Veteran: [terrified] And then he died. Reporter: But what was it like only having to memorize 1 password for everything?
@mompsychologist: Me:"If you ever give me another gift with 'some assembly required', you're dead to us." 6:*writing thank you card* But, um.. Me: Write it!
@Elizasoul80: Me: "I came to Twitter to be creative and express myself." Twitter: lol, you said "came".