@bea_ker: That's the third time Adam Sandler's scootered past my house this morning. Dude if you want to go on my trampoline just ask
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@novicefather: [cuddling] her: what are you thinking about? me: these pretzels are making me thirsty
@Jill_Doe_: There are few problems in life that can't be sorted by slowing down, taking a deep breath, and THEN drawing winged eyeliner on a raccoon.
@TankCesar: The tattoo was temporary, but my love of dolphins shooting fire out of their mouths is forever.