@bea_ker: That's the third time Adam Sandler's scootered past my house this morning. Dude if you want to go on my trampoline just ask
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@Mr_Kapowski: *scientist finishes bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and begins drinking the milk* "Wait just one damn minute" - How horchata was born
@SteveKoehler22: When our kids were teenagers we moved; hoping it would help with family strife. It didn't work, unfortunately. They found us.
@Book_Krazy: [playing pictionary] Her: A circle..a ring...a diamond ring...a diamond engagement ring...OMG YES I'LL MARRY YOU! Him: Its a door knocker.
@Jesssicle: Some of you take selfies from so close up, I'm beginning to wonder if you're a T-Rex.