@rumandrocks: That's weird, my waitress stopped flirting after I paid the bill...
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@numbertze: If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
@thenoahkinsey: *phone rings* Yoda: Yoda Luke: WTF VADER'S MY DAD? Y: Uh L: And you knew & told me to kill him? Y: L: Y: Going thru a tunnel I am *hangs up*
@cool_as_heck: ME: who's a good boy!! DOG: did you just misgender me you genderphobic heteronormative piece of shit ME: what DOG: bark
@heatherlou_: If I could teach my kid anything it would be do not attempt to lay on my face. Give me my personal space please, tiny leech.