@iamMunga: The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
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@Parentpains: When all else fails burn shit, people will forget how much of a failure you are when they see stuff on fire.
@cee_ryan: My favorite thing to do at the library is leave browser tabs open with search results for "best way to clean vomit off a keyboard??"
@maxlavergne: your honor, i nominate the real murderer for the ice bucket challenge!! [a guy stands up] nice
@wolfpupy: if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance