@iamMunga: The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
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@_xLNc: My father once told me, "Son, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it's something your father told you."
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP "Wake up!" SLAM *runs back downstairs "No, he's not."
@bkdcasey: I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners.