@zgbetty: The 2nd grade teacher asked parents to donate supplies for tie dye tshirt day but I'm not sure I can come up with that much weed by Friday.
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@Dawn_M_: If I were a werewolf I wouldn't have to chain myself up at night because I don't like going out anyway.
@BridgetPhetasy: In Hell, all of your Google searches post directly to your social media accounts.
@CaseyMichelle__: Well if you didn't want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
@bobvulfov: [as i'm getting buried alive by a serial killer] wait stop who's gonna feed my tamagotchis