@SirEviscerate: The 4th little pig built his house into a windmill. The wolf huffed and puffed and generated enough power to last the whole winter.
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@juliussharpe: The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls.
@UncleDuke1969: "I'm THIRSTY!" "Can I have a drink?" "DAAAAAAAAD!" "I WANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!" See? My son can turn water into whine, too. Your move, God.
@beckyiniowa: If the head of CIA can't even hide his own affair it's pretty safe to say there were no aliens at Roswell and we really went to the moon.
@david8hughes: On the 5th day, god was hungover & didn't feel up to much so he created worms, shoelaces & spaghetti, then punched out just after 1pm.