@lejessica: The 80's called and they want you to stop saying they called.
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@mrjohndarby: My family gather round while the lawyer quietly reads my will. He hands out 1 hot dog each and when they finish eating he asks them to leave
@LeftAtLondon: Alternate universe where all appearances of the word “lil” in rappers names have to be replaced with the word “teensy weensy”
@_coryrichardson: [Dog tennis match] Dog: *throws ball up to serve* *all dogs in the audience simultaneously bolt onto the court*