@lejessica: The 80's called and they want you to stop saying they called.
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@iscoff: Sometimes if you say "Wow, you're tall!" to a tall person they realize they're tall for the first time and thank you with cash
@TriciaLockwood: me: this cat is kissing me on the lips because it LOVES me cat: mother's lips taste perpetually of bacon
@SomthinBoutSara: Twas the night before Christmas, all through the house not a creature was stirring not even my vodka martini because it's shaken not stirred
@NerishaLakha: I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.