@StansaidAirport: The 9:50 from Paris has been diverted. Nothing to do with the weather, we just don't like the French.
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@oxygenplug: "Hey what should we call our multi-million dollar juice company?" "Juicy Juice" "What? Are you sure? Why don't we-" "Juicy. Juice."
@LoveNLunchmeat: 80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction.
@stanleybehrman: If she boasts how adult coloring is therapeutic and has made her more tolerant and patient Hide her markers And wait...
@VerbsRProudest: When someone accuses you of being defensive, you can't deny it without sounding defensive. Just hurl a flower pot. No one expects that.