@CatherineLMK: The adult life I imagined as a child involved less laundry and more group dance numbers.
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@TennisShoeBoi: On my last flight I watched a woman in front of me pull out her hair and eat it until I fell asleep. Can't do that in first class.
@oxygenplug: "Hey what should we call our multi-million dollar juice company?" "Juicy Juice" "What? Are you sure? Why don't we-" "Juicy. Juice."
@RidiculousSheri: The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me.
@_davidlucas_: Don't forget to contemplate the meaning of life while standing in the cycle lane with your car door wide open today.