@CatherineLMK: The adult life I imagined as a child involved less laundry and more group dance numbers.
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@djdarrellripley: Me: It's not often that a single guy like me gets a home cooked meal. Her: Why don't you get married? Me: I've never been that hungry.
@The_Grant_Boldt: Girlfriend: "babe it's hot I need a fan" [Boyfriend starts taking pictures with her and BEGGING for autographs]
@AdamOfEarth: Girl, are you E=mc ²? Because I do not have the energy to figure out what is the matter with you.