@TheTweetOfGod: The Alabama Supreme Court has blocked same-sex marriage on the legal grounds that it is 1953.
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@ValeeGrrl: POLICE OFFICER: [frisking me] why do you have chicken nuggets in all your pockets? ME: they're medicinal
@DeadLioness: They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.
@hazelmotes1: "They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears