@kelkulus: The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered.
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@Playing_Dad: Me: You want to watch a horror movie for Halloween? Dog: Sure, put it on Me: *turns on Dyson vacuum infomercial*
@QwertyJones3: "My brother's coming over for dinner." Ugh, is he still talking only in country names? *brother walks in* "Chad Hungary. Jamaica Turkey?"
@loribuckmajor: Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable.
@dihorla: I'm dreaming of getting rich like my father. Wow your dad must be a rich man. No, he too is dreaming of getting rich.