@mofrorock: What idiot called it Canada and not the US of Eh?

@MelKassel: HIM: tell me your wildest fantasy ME: i'm on wheel of fortune and i spin it so hard it lights on fire HIM: i meant like- ME: everyone claps

@bossy_bootz: Of course I can handle constructive criticism *resents you for the next 50 yrs

@Owl_Meat: [Car breaks down] Me:*inspecting engine* Date: is everything ok? Me: *nervously searching 100 now empty hamster wheels* haha..y-yep

@NYC_Blonde: I'm not your GameBoy, quit pushing my buttons