@Token_Geezer: The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@perlapell: Hey Young Girls, when a first date suggests you two go to "your place", take him to Target.
@VeganZebra: [Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help
@ChaoticBeny: Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents. #Christmas
@SoVeryBritish: Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says "I'm going to have to cancel tonight"