@AmishPornStar1: The amount of time you spend cleaning your house before a friend comes over is inversely proportional to the quality of that friendship.
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@themorris23: Octopus 1-you up for tennis? Octopus 2- I cant my tennis elbows are actin up again Octo1-..we dont have elb Octo2- I DONT WANNA PLAY CARL
@WilliamAder: Good Cop: If you confess now, you'll probably just get probation. Fad Cop: Hey Macarena!
@PeaceInTruth1: Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone
@BruceForce: Guys, I'm officially having sex tonight so please don't disturb me between 9.30 and 9.31