@trentistweeting: The amount of tinder matches I've gotten has skyrocketed since I changed my interests from "Murdering" to "Not Murdering"
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@ibid78: Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder.
@theguydf: It's 2014 and somehow we still don't have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
@KentWGraham: I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.