@KenJennings: The average human now spends 1.5 years of their life waiting for dumb post-credits scenes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Elizasoul80: I'm gonna hire a person to speak at my funeral and say a bunch of crazy stuff about me so my friends and family think I had a secret life.
@VodkaThursday: To punish me, my 2yr old shuts herself in her room. She can shut, but not open, doors. She ends up trapped in a self-imposed timeout. #irony
@dog_feelings: the small neighbor human. is hanging outside with some ice cream. and it is melting. way faster than it is being eaten. the only real solution here. is for me to trot over and help