@TheReal_AndyMac: The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer per year. That's 41 miles per gallon...which is not bad.
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@imadepoopstoday: [job interview] "We feel that you just aren't quite mature enough for the position." It's the Velcro shoes, isn't it. "...yes."
@badbanana: Most unrealistic scene in Pacific Rim? Hundreds take shelter in a bunker during a monster attack. Not one person is tweeting.
@adam_bloomquist: Saw a billboard that said: Don't be distracted by driving and texting. Next one said: Don't be distracted by driving and reading billboards.
@WilliamAder: Auto correct changed "mingle" to "mangle," and now I've been uninvited to a Superbowl party.