@BeardSpice: The average monkey swallows 7 spider-monkeys every single night.
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@rickolantern: Just got 30 orange oval stickers printed that read NOW HAMSTER FREE I'm putting them on all the meatloaf packages in this supermarket
@HonestToddler: They’re saying I put a stuffed animal in the toilet. Untrue. I sent it on a mission to retrieve my toy cars.
@krisv_723: I'm here to make a donation. Nun: Blessings, the orphans could use... *Shoving my kid at her- A brother? I'd like a receipt. For my taxes.