@moooooog35: The average parent spends roughly 2.7 years of their life picking up crayons from under restaurant tables.
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@juliussharpe: I have the Anne Hathaway "It came true!" reaction whenever the guy at Subway hands me my sandwich.
@vinfury: Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
@ImHopel3ss: My dealer said he'll be here in 20 minutes with the best popcorn ever. We're gonna watch a movie!