@weinerdog4life: The average person swallows 3 cats on their drive home from work.
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@BigOlBossman: WAITER: soup or salad? CLARK KENT: *sweating nervously* just a REGULAR salad for a REGULAR guy please ha ha. nothing super about it...
@NicestHippo: ME: Lord, what have I done to deserve this GOD: *unfurls a scroll that keeps going for miles* Well