@ShittingtonUK: The average person swallows over 4,000 spiders each year. More than that. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of spiders. It's crazy.
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@TheWoodenslurpy: Sometimes I cross things off my to-do list that I haven’t done. To remind myself that I control the list.
@CynicalLongkat: Dinner with Mom: Are these real people you're talking about or are they from the internet?
@NJFreudian: Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town Not a creature was Tweeting, cause favstar was down.
@SkinnerSteven: I like my women like I like my coffee, passed through the digestive system of a cat