@TheAwkwardTweet: The awkward moment when Lady Gaga has no idea what to wear for halloween.
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@StellaGMaddox: Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, "Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."
@internetluke: [comes out of coma after 12 years] ME: Holy shit I forgot to set my AIM status to 'Away'! DOCTOR: you might want to take a seat
@xysist: If Kim and Kanye name their next kid North West again, we can comfortably refer to the two as One Direction.