@PsychoCesc: The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down & you don't know whether to tell, because you can't explain why you were looking that low.
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@flahertykeely: stuck on a crowded subway next to a girl playing candycrush, she made a bad move & half the car went "ooooo" in a chorus of dismay
@david8hughes: Wife: Why is there a bouncy castle in the garden? Me out of breath with no shoes on: I'm not sure.
@virtualhippie: Being high in front of your parents is like trying to do your best impression of yourself.
@DamonHunzeker: If a lion ever bites off your arm, try to chew some of his hair off before you run away. He deserves to look stupid until it grows back.