@SCbchbum: The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SladeBlue: Kids want to play with the box the toys come out of. Men want to play with the box the kids come out of.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
@JohnLyonTweets: I'll admit, ever since I saw Psycho as a kid I've felt a tiny bit nervous each time I kill someone in the shower.
@JoePetroske: Interview Tip: When you get the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" question, don't say "post-apocalyptic tribal warlord".