@SillySassySmart: The awkwardness of my life is equivalent to when somebody says "Happy Birthday" and you say "Thanks you too!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@robfee: Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet.
@tastefactory: INTERVIEWER: What are your strengths? APPLICANT: I'm a detail-oriented team player [nothing wacky happens because this is a job interview]
@briangaar: Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad.
@ValeeGrrl: At cardio class tonight, a 22yo size 0 told me "you run fast for someone your age" so now I have a body to bury if anyone wants to help me.