@robdelaney: The baby daddies on 16 & Pregnant/Teen Mom should be used to test air bags.
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@NEthingButWork: Dentist: How often do you floss? Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*
@BruceForce: When I see a door with the sign 'Door Alarmed' I always tell the door "don't worry, it's only me" ~ It's all about the empathy.
@Thynebear: I imagine Hell is just a place where you watch a montage of people's hands you've shook that didn't wash them after they used the bathroom.