@fart: the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually "cloaking" they just turned all their lights off
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@ericsshadow: [is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] "do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."
@Stella1070: I was so excited. Thought I found an M&M at the bottom of my purse. It was only an earbud. I ate it anyway.
@JakeSocial: Just received an email saying: "Want to see Celine Dion live?" My first thought was that it was a ransom demand.
@Token_Geezer: The kids of today have no respect. They're rude, lazy and swear to make themselves look big and coolnnNothing at all like us...