@TheBeerGuy73: The bank robbery would have ended much better for me if I hadn't stopped on the way out at the ATM to deposit the money.
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@Go2Slp: "Oh, beautiful. Just perfect. I wonder if I'll be able to control myself... aaaand they're gone." - Me with Thin Mints, and women.
@chadopitz: Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology.
@thegreatnanak: She: why are you dressed up as a duck? Me: did you know people feed ducks in the park?