@joshgondelman: The best argument for "the sequel is never as good as the original" is birds v. dinosaurs.
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@iwearpajamas: My girlfriend talks to her dog like it's going to talk back. Kind of like when Christians talk to God.
@tastefactory: People Magazine sounds like something aliens pretending to be humans would call their magazine.
@DanMentos: Guys I finally came up with a name for our character: Spongebob "Perfect!" Thanks "What's his last name?" Oh, uh- *looks at pic* Squarepants
@SavoirFail: Just ONCE, I'd like took deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.