@jwoodham: The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here.
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@WheelTod: Probably the worst part about being a snail is how you can't put salt on your French fries.
@Phlegmingway: I prefer science to religion, as the former doesn't seem to grow vengeful and jealous when refused attention.