@jwoodham: The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: *smashes bottle into a ship* MAN: Oh cool, what are you naming it? ME: I'm not *smashes another bottle* I just hate ships
@justabloodygame: As Caesar dies on the Senate floor, 'With or Without You' starts to play. "U2, Brutus?" He sighs, coughing wearily as the world fades away.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I would've been terrible in 50 Shades because the second a guy said "I don't do romance" I would laugh and be like NOBODY SAYS THAT BYE
@livingnBoston: I updated my drivers on my laptop and now I have all kinds of pop ups...thanks Microsoft!