@jwoodham: The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here.
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@hippieswordfish: *newspaper headline* BIDEN'S EMAIL HACKED -'it was easy' the hackers said 'his password was 'password'
@fuqtarded: On the street or subway you can only imagine what that idiot is thinking. On Twitter, you get to see what that idiot is thinking.
@AntozWolf: I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*
@ericsshadow: [6:00pm] i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight [11:00pm] yay i did it! [11:01pm] *preheats oven*