@MarkPuente: The best letter to the editor in today's @TB_Times.
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@2tickytacky: I remember when "Something's eating up data." meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Where were you supposed to poop? 2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn’t you? 2: I’m too busy.
@notalogin: You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets.