@drayzze: The best part about being single is only having to say "I'm sorry" to the dog.
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@causticbob: Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.
@Brampersandon_: ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung
@WilliamAder: Whoever gets the gift from me that has scissors under the wrapping paper, I'm going to need those back.