@JustinGuarini: The best part about Facebook is never having to wonder what your acquaintance's baby is doing all day everyday day.
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@YayatiSB: My wife said: Pls go to shop & buy a carton of Milk & if they have eggs, get six. I came back with Six cartons of Milk & told they had eggs.
@OrangeFact: SPOILER ALERT: In the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting," it's a baby. You're expecting a baby.
@BatmanOffDuty: *buying a dog* Is this a good dog? "Oh yeah, very good dog." Do any tricks? "No, I'm clean, selling dogs now."
@MUMSIEesq: [HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: "A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket." WIFE: "What?" DR: "Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."