@JMFnSparks: The best part about having a homeless girlfriend is after our date I can drop her off wherever I want
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pauleggleston: 'Hello Microsoft support, what's the nature of the problem?' 'Eggshell' 'Eggshell??' 'Yesh' 'Oh hello again Mr Connery. Spreadsheet issues?'
@QwertyJones3: Doctor: "Just lie back and relax, I'll start the lasik eye procedure in a moment." *Turns on laser* *Patient's face is attacked by cats*
@ramenfuneral: "how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode" - creator of zebras