@JMFnSparks: The best part about having a homeless girlfriend is after our date I can drop her off wherever I want
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@UnFitz: [firing squad] Captain: Any last words? Prisoner: Why, yes. I'd like to speak with you for a moment about gun control.
@Reverend_Scott: Police: We'd like u to come with us to answer some questions about ur husband's disappearance. Mrs. Potato Head eating french fries: why?