@rickkondell: The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.
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@okimstillhungry: I can't wait for thanksgiving. It's an election year so that means there will be at least 4 fist fights and someone's getting disowned.
@sadhatterskwrl: To those folks who retweet my timeline and get my phone buzzing *thank you *I see you *I love you *we married now *it's too late *it's done
@MrsGoose69: Me: Please can you get my iPad in the lounge? 5yr: I think you should poo without it. I just play with my fingers and sing and stuff...