@TheIronSherk: The best part of a handshake is the knuckles. I dunno why, but the blender just brings out their richness and flavour
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@Ristolable: *agrees with someone online* Yeah, I agree. *disagrees with someone online* YOU'RE NOT JUST WRONG YOU'RE HITLER AND I HATE YOU FOREVER
@Twtercide: If you want the truth, ask a child. If you want some bullshit, ask an adult. If you want to end up in jail, ask your friends on Twitter.
@brichie13: He's an owl with an attitude. She's a hawk who will take him to church. This fall, Sundays become Fundays on ABC's new hit 'Birds of Pray'!
@kchees: All the single ladies put your hands up! *handcuffs all the single ladies together and pushes them off a cliff* I'm your only option now.