@TheBlessMess: The best part of being an adult is eating whatever you want. I just ate a small man that pissed me off at the liquor store.
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@ThoughtOtter: Welcome to anxiety club, I really hope more people show up. Maybe there was a terrible accident and everyone that was coming is now dead
@girlontapas: Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them.
@DaHess1: I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the shit out of each other because it's negative.
@Thedudish: My fridge is so empty, I just saw a fly in my kitchen wearing a pastry apron, kneading dough and mumbling "He doesn't even buy bread."