@TheBlessMess: The best part of being an adult is eating whatever you want. I just ate a small man that pissed me off at the liquor store.
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@McNarstle: Catch a baby opossum, give it a 12-hr sedative, and hide it in the glove compartment of the car of the person who's dating your ex.
@WeissBrandon: I get it short people, I get it. Oooops sorry typo, I'll get it short people, I'll get it.
@shutupmikeginn: Google glasses? No thanks, too much tech. It's weird "You can secretly watch Netflix at work" Oh, please take literally all of my money.