@MichaelTrying: The best part of being incompetent to cook and feed myself is that when I travel I am positive I didn’t leave the oven on.
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@garthinkingcap: [after solid first date] Ok play it cool, don't wanna seem too eager.. *texts her 47 years later* "Had a great time the other night :)"
@ElgatoEsmio: SOME DUDE IN A LAB IS WORKING ON BRINGING THE PTERODACTYL BACK TO LIFE SO ENJOY THOSE EVENING STROLLS WHILE YOU CAN!
@Tmoney68: If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check.