@Blondiethegood: The best part of being married with kids is.....is.....umm.....Yeah.
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@Brentweets: If you can't handle me at my worst that makes sense and I'm sorry for setting your house on fire.
@thejessbess: I wrote a poem: Dinosaurs, they used to roar, but... No more. Still mad atchu, meteor.
@SteveSuckington: [talking to daughter's art major boyfriend] "You know who else had a pointy beard? Satan."
@dadamantium: 4: Let's hunt turkeys, Daddy. Me: How do we do that? 4: Put up a big sign that says, "Come here, Turkeys!" I might be raising Elmer Fudd.