@_davidlucas_: The best part of Halloween is all the Jehovah's Witnesses wondering why they're being given candy.
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@DomBorrett: Saw a guy this morning covered from head to toe in camouflage and sporting a fluorescent safety jacket... You can't have it both ways mate
@ComedyCarter: In life, God is my co-pilot. Unfortunately He is on the no-fly list thanks to His ties to several extremist groups.
@MooseAllain: There’s been a fire at London Zoo. Apparently two stick insects were having sex and it all got out of control.