@duplicitron: The best part of having a banana instead of a cell phone is no one on this plane can actually make me turn it off or stop talking into it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LaurenRP: I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose.
@sarcasticmommy4: What I said: GET IN THE CAR! What my kids heard: Pour another bowl of cereal & watch TV.
@drunktweets81: I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
@DanMentos: me: *rubs lamp* genie: I will grant you three wishes me: can you go away I’m rubbing this lamp