@RandomAntics: The best revenge is living well, so I really need to know what the second best revenge is.
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@chagger73: I only watch Storage Wars to see if they find my ex's body. Just kidding. I like the show. And she's buried in the woods.
@SamuelHLowe: - 911,what's your emergency? - I'm out of beer! - That's no emergency. - Chest pain? - We'll send an ambulance. - Make sure they bring beer.
@iwearaonesie: Anytime someone loses something in the office HR doesn't ask if anyone's seen it, they just send out an email that says "Give it back Josh"
@Ivsy01: Me:Thank you, he's so hot I don't even know what I want to do first...Grandma: (interrupting) Okay, can someone else say the prayer please?