@JaneBadall: The best revenge is living well, unless you own a flamethrower.
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@dysalexia: You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook.
@GloriaFallon123: Nothing like an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" to make you feel like a Harvard double major.
@WittySassBasket: I like to finish my pelvic exam by asking the doctor 'hey, where'd your watch go?'
@flashember: [Giraffe Weatherman] "Yes Bob, we have a major blizzard happening up here but *giraffe lowers head* on the ground we're still looking good."