@JaneBadall: The best revenge is living well, unless you own a flamethrower.
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@DaHess1: People think it's great if you like kids but will freak out if you assign an age. I like 10 year olds. See? Creepy. I'll wait in the van.
@Jenny4ashley: [speed dating] Me: Have you ever choked someone? "No I would never do something like that" Me: Next
@neonwario: I excuse myself to the washroom before I order You walk in and see me, leaning towards the mirror repeating "I'll have the hamburger please"
@pinupteacher: [speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? "No." *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]