@GuyConfused: The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
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@UrbanDouchebag: I wonder if flies ever think, "I bet I could get this guy to slap himself in the face." Because they'd be right.
@Kyle_Lippert: Her: What are your desires? Me: My desires are..[imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with]...Unconventional.