@GuyConfused: The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
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@aimlessamers: First date Me: when you said you were a WWF fanatic, I thought you meant Words with Friends Him:(in tights) YOU'RE GOING DOWN *flips table*
@dire_beard: If a child's survival depended on my ability to share bacon, I would weep greasy, bacony tears at that child's funeral.
@tarashoe: religion? um, ha, no. i'm not really into the idea of letting a set of ancient rules dictate my life. plus, pisces aren't usually religious
@trayofcheese: Travel tip: If you’re gonna have a double Bloody Mary at the airport, remember to bring $17,000.