@TheMichaelRock: The best salesperson ever was the first woman to shave off her eyebrows and draw them back on, then convince a second woman to do it.
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@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it
@squirrel74wkgn: [alien wobbles out of spacecraft] "Take me to your leader" [30 minutes later] Me: So, this is my wife...