@TheMichaelRock: The best salesperson ever was the first woman to shave off her eyebrows and draw them back on, then convince a second woman to do it.
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@Try2StopME: Please take the smartphone away from your pets, they are spamming your Facebook with selfies.
@RidiculousSheri: The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me.
@GetCougarized: I'm not only the woman your Mother warned you about, I'm the one your Father highly recommended.