@TheBoydP: The best thing about being an accountant is that everyone assumes you’re not a psychopath.
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@sixfootcandy: Insurance company: We need you to fax us the paperwork. Me: Sure. Let me jump in my DeLorean and drive back to 1987.
@lmwortho: I think if a trained monkey could drive a car, cook & give out money, my kids wouldn't notice it wasn't me. I need a monkey.