@TheBoydP: The best thing about being an accountant is that everyone assumes you’re not a psychopath.
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@funnyordie: When it comes to Pope vs. Trump, do you take the side of the guy who wears that ridiculous thing on his head or the Pope?
@dadopotamus: A married couple with no kids just asked my wife and I to go out for drinks at 9:30 tonight. They did it with a straight face too.
@Reverend_Scott: Dinosaur 911: what's ur emergency Dinosaur: A FIREBALL IN THE SKY IS FLYIN AT US Dinosaur 911: is it the sun Dinosaur: haha probably. bye